i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
