I got chris browned last night
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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