Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
