The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
