that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just gift wrapped bread.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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