ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
