I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
