oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
