Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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