whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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