my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This baby is an asshole
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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