Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
