the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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