I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
