She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
