For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
