come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
