Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
