Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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