No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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