I'm so fucking centered right now
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
