Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
