Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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