fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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