her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
