I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
