And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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