Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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