Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
