You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
