I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
