are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
