I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He shit in the fireplace
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