'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
