I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
