Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
