Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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