I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
