I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
