the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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