Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
