Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
