Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
