dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
