Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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