Are we in a gay sports bar?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
