i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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