Say something about gay babies.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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