I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
