Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
